A Little Bit Married: How to Know When It's Time to Walk Down the Aisle or Out the Door by Hannah Seligson Search Amazon for other books by or about Hannah Seligson. Rating: Reviewed by: John L. Hoh, Jr.

Somewhere in the 1960's and 1970's the "sexual revolution" overtook society. It wasn't long before the idea that marriage was "simply a piece of paper" meant that co-habitation became popular (although as I write the gay community is fighting for the legal rights that "piece of paper" confers upon people legally married). From there where would society go?

This book looks into one area of fallout we as a society find ourselves in. It seems men and women are cohabiting. Women especially see this as a step to a permanent arrangement (i.e., marriage; that "piece of paper" is suddenly important again). But a fact remains that cohabitating or even long-term dating/engagements do not always lead to marriage. It also looks at relationships that appear like a marriage in all respects except for that legal recognition.

This book tackles that subject head-on. Here a pet peeve of mine comes through, that is the book starts with statistics and anecdotal evidence ad infinitum (or so it seems) documenting the depths of this crisis. Is there any way authors can boil down all the statistics and studies to give us a peek into the problem, then delve into what the problem is and fixes to the problem?

Once the problem is addressed the author, in a humanist manner, tackles the problems and counsels mostly women (although I'm sure at times the man is ready to "nest" and the woman hesitates to settle down). This counsel goes through an evaluation of the relationship, how the hesitant party responds to crisis and situations. Basically the author is saying, "Do you really know the person you hope to share a lifetime with?" As a theologian my approach would be different but no one style is the definitive style. I would imagine the audience of this book is more rational and less interested in what the church dogma says, so the author addresses that audience as it exists and needs to be addressed.

The author also helps the reader take a personal inventory. Is the reader really at that point where such a life-altering (ahem, pardon the pun) decision can be made. I did like the allusion to Seinfeld and the selfish narcissism the show adeptly portrayed.

The author then explores with her audience to make that decision. That decision is to either tactfully and diplomatically get the beau down the aisle, or to walk out of the relationship. Or as the cover puts it, "How to know when its time to walk down the aisle or out the door."

Anyone who finds themselves in a relationship at such a crossroads can learn some lessons from this book. If one has a friend in such straights, this might be a good gift book for that person.